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A few thoughts to make the world a better place

(Why don'cha?) Exit Laughing

A few possible epitaphs

MEGALOMANIACAL DICTATOR:

Here lies the remains of Saddam Hussein
Even his rellies say he was insane;
Along with two others in his funeral bed,
Qne thing's for certain,
The bastard is dead.

 

TERRORIST:

Here are the ashes of
Osama Bin Laden
But it's so hard to tell,
Do you think the they got him?

 

PRESIDENTIAL:

Here lies the body of 'Dubya'. Bush
Some say he jumped,
He swears he was pushed.

 

GENERIC CELEBRITY

In this tomb lies the body of Bill
We thought he was dead, but he just won't lay still.
He got up too early, and stayed up too late,
Some say he just had too much on his plate.
He spent many years as a media host,
But he'll spend many more as stiff as a post;
Though interring his body is most likely absurd,
When you know that his ghost
Will have the last word.

A Man of Great Peace

Its not about winning votes or seats,
making or breaking laws.
At the end of the day,
tools and toys put away,
it matters not applause.

The only difference one can make
comes from deep within the heart;
and a little bit goes a long, long way;
one only has to start;

And when that step has once begun,
theres another right behind.
Not even death can end the march,
as mysteries unwind.

That thing we call truth, man cannot speak,
nor neither woman sing,
for it only knows the bone and blood
of every living thing.

So come away, youve had your day;
some children still remember
how Viet Nam and napalm bomb
were used, and then surrendered.

This land of peace made a lonely stand
while great nations applied pressure;
but like tempered steel, she did not yield
her integrity, her treasure.

There are those who think they know;
we sometimes call them bullies;
and others who only know too well,
wishing they did so fully.

You remind me of a thousand things
that have long been packed in cotton;
but as sure as this morning's cockerel sings,
they will never be forgotten.

 

MINISTERIAL

Here lies Queen Helen,
The New Zealand Prime Minister;
Died of natural causes,
Nothing too sinister;
But, you know New Zealanders,
How they love to talk;
They say she was stargazing,
And fell off the catwalk.

Want a clever eulogy or advert written?

Email: harmony@pegasuspark.co.nz